Xaeyruudh's Index

Monster HWP, Part 1: Humanoids

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This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.


At a Glance

Lots of humanoid-shaped monsters have some notes on how tall they are and how much they weigh… this is awesome. However, some of the weights are way off. Titans are essentially gigantic humans. They look like humans; it seems logical that they should be made of the same flesh and bone as humans, but they’re described as 25 feet tall and 14,000 lbs. This is the same height-weight proportionality as an average (5 ft 9 inch tall) human male who weighs a decidedly above-average 800 lbs. Elder titans, as described in the ELH, must be made of incredibly dense stuff… they’re proportional to an average-height human male who weighs 2560 lbs. In contrast, several types of mephit are supposedly 4 feet tall and 2 lbs, which makes them proportional to an average man who weighs 4 lbs.


Introduction

So what follows is a list of more-legitimate average weights for various monsters. These numbers will give you creatures who have basically the same build as their counterparts in nature (if such exist) or which are consistent with more realistic figures found elsewhere for similar races. Monsters which resemble humans, for example, should approximate a man who is 5 ft 9 in tall and 160 lbs, or a woman who is 5 ft 4 in tall and 115 lbs.


Humans

I’m going to use humans as a baseline. Other races will be compared to humans in terms of physique, the comparison will be translated to factors to plug into the formulas, and then estimated weights will be determined. If the monster in question doesn’t look human (gelatinous cube, for instance) then it doesn’t fit the formula and we’ll figure its weight in a different way (in another post).

In D&D, average humans are defined as 5’9″ males weighing 175 lbs and 5’4″ females weighing 140 lbs, varying slightly according to subrace. I’m not going to argue with the heights, but I am going to point out that medical science argues for slightly lower weights.

BMI, or Body Mass Index, is a widely used method of describing relative height-weight proportion. Healthy proportions for an adult human are in the 18-24 range; the upper end of that range for males and the lower end for females. If your BMI dips below 18 your doctor may start saying things like “severely underweight” and “malnourished.” If it’s over 25, the word is “overweight” and if it reaches 30 you should expect to hear the dreaded thunderbolt “obese.”

The average numbers derived from Table 6-6 of the (3.5) Player’s Handbook translate to a BMI of 26 for males and 24 for females; these numbers are not ridiculously high, but for females in particular it’s significantly higher than optimal. Given that adventurers are the most physically active specimens of their races, it seems reasonable to assume that their hwp will be near-optimal. With that in mind, I’m refining the numbers as follows.

Average humans are defined here as 5’9″ males weighing 160 lbs and 5’4″ females weighing 115 lbs, varying slightly according to subrace. This translates (if we disregard rounding) to a BMI of 24 for males and 20 for females… well within the range of healthy body mass.


Models

As noted, humans are the baseline. Other races will be described in comparison to humans.

Aarakocra — on the outside, aarakocra basically resemble humans-with-wings. However, like birds, they’re much lighter than other creatures. Arbitrarily, I decide that their mass will be 30% lower than that of humans. I’m not going to list the calculated BMI for all the races, but as an example, this 30% drop means a BMI of 16.8 for adult males and 14.0 for females. The weight of each individual will depend on height; averages are listed below.

Baboon — baboons are not precisely humanoid, but they’re close and I was able to calculate baboon BMI from looking them up on wikipedia, so I can include baboon-based creatures (like the julajimus) on this list.

Dwarf — dwarves actually get a few categories based on subrace. Arctic and wild dwarves have about 50% more mass than humans, duergar 60% more, shield dwarves 75% more, gold dwarves twice as much… and urdunnir have 2.25x the mass of humans.

Elves — likewise elves vary a bit. I put half-elves and aquatic elves at 95% of the mass of humans. Moon, sun, wild, and wood elves have 90% of the mass of humans, and drow do as well but their male-female ratios are reversed. Avariel are a special case; they’re based on other elves (90%) but like aarakocra they’re avian and so their mass is reduced by a further 30%. The “honor” of lowest BMI on the list goes to air mephits (11 for females) but avariel (12.6) are a close second. Also, the males’ base BMI is reduced to 22; they’re just not as broad-shouldered as human males.

Genasi — fire and water genasi have the same mass as humans, but air genasi are 25% lighter and earth genasi are 25% heavier.

Gith — githyanki and githzerai are gaunt in comparison to humans; I arbitrarily equate this with a 12.5% reduction in mass. Also, the males’ base BMI is reduced to 22; they’re just not as broad-shouldered as human males.

Giants — most giants are built very much like other races. The exception is stone giants, who outwardly resemble human proportions but their bodies are much more dense; I arbitrarily give them a 22.5% increase in mass; just slightly less than the 25% given to earth genasi.

Hags — hags look deceptively frail and weak, belying their freakish strength; I give them a 25% reduction in mass; the opposite of the 25% increase given to orcs.

Lizardfolk — lizardfolk are more bulky than humans, but less bulky than orcs… however, they have tails. In my math, it balances out to a 25% increase in mass.

Medusae — medusae are the same shape and size as human females, but they have denser skin and tissues plus a headful of snakes. I call it a 10% increase in mass.

Mephits — due to their wings and the need to be able to use them, I assign all mephits a 25% reduction in mass. Air mephits get a further 25% reduction (56.25% of human mass) due to their affiliation with elemental air, and earth mephits get a 25% increase (93.75% of human mass).

Minotaurs — minotaurs are massive; I call it 50% more mass than humans. Greathorn minotaurs are even more dense, so I give them a further 25% increase.

Orcs — orcs are quite a bit more bulky than humans; I call it 25% more mass. Also, the females’ base BMI is increased to 22; they’re more broad-shouldered than human females.

Skulks — skulks are a bit skinny compared to humans; I call it 10% less mass.

Special Cases — finally there are special cases, like the rakka. These will be estimated on an individual basis.


The List


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