Absurd Adversaries

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.

At a Glance

This is the Honor Roll of Stupidity. The monsters here are too dumb to appear in the Xaeyruudh campaign. Rejected!

Abrian — An absolutely pathetic start for the Fiend Folio.

Achaierai — A flightless bird, with insufficient coolness to make up for that massive fail.

Brain Golem — I don’t agree with Stupid Monsters on everything, but I agree on this one: “It’s like a bunch of PETA vegans creating a Celery Golem.”

Senmurv — You have three options: (a) stop eating the mushrooms you can’t get from any national grocery store; (b) stop designing D&D monsters; (c) all of the above. Choose wisely.

Half-vampire — Ugh. I wish I could blame this one on trying to appeal to Twilight fans, but Libris Mortis was published before the first Twilight book so there is no excuse.

Credit Where It’s Due

  • Stupid Monsters (Part 1 and Part 2) — other than the quote about the brain golem, I don’t think I’m taking anything directly from Stupid Monsters, but it is an earlier work. I have different criteria for rejecting monsters, but Stupid Monsters was the inspiration for writing a blog post bringing attention to all of them in the same place. So that’s that.

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

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