Maps

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

This is one of my pet peeves. Hey… these are my suggestions, so you get to hear about my pet peeves. Everybody else can tell you about theirs.

Stop changing the maps.

I’m looking at you, people-who-did-the-3e-FR-map. Expand and improve, but don’t move things around just so it will fit better on the page. I’m not a cartographer, so I can’t tell you in technical terms what a huge screwup that is, but I can tell you as a gamer… and based on what I saw on the forums, I wasn’t alone in my reaction.

You pissed me off, by giving me a map which is superficially appealing but which forces me to decide which version of the Realms I want to play in and renders either the earlier or later maps completely useless. This was compounded by 4e, when you changed the map again. I sense a pattern developing, and I don’t like it.

If you released updates of the 1e/2e maps with each new edition, the ship of my objection would lose a lot of the wind in its sails. However, you did not, which means avast, ye scurvy knave! Walk the plank!

RSE

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Do I really even need to address this? Is this really something that needs to be explained?

Apparently so, since as of 4e you’re still relying on them.

Stop.

Just stop. %#&$!*&^%$ing stop! It damages the setting, while contributing nothing positive. Nothing. I would try to google this, to see “your version of the story” but the thing is… it doesn’t matter what you think. You’re wrong. Quit explaining new rulesets with catastrophic events. No, it doesn’t explain anything. It does not create a context for the changes. It’s not creative, no matter how many geniuses worked on trying to explain it.

If you need a spellplague or a mass-ungodding to explain why you’re changing something, that’s a huge blatantly obvious indication that you shouldn’t change that thing. DMs and players see these indications, given how huge and blatantly obvious they are, even if you don’t see them.

This really translates to the biggest thing you should change in 5e:

Stop being freegin idiots.

Dear WotC: You have some smart people there. Quit making us think they’re all single-digit-IQ morons because their names are attached to ridiculously stupid decisions that are your fault.

Somewhere around age 12, when school counselors started asking me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I got this idea in my head that working for TSR would be the coolest job ever. Roll dice and play games all day! Write adventures and sourcebooks! Go to cons! Be a nerd and be proud of it!

Today, I would rather drive a garbage truck for a living than work for WotC. I think I could be the Dirty Jobs guy on tv before I would take a job at WotC that didn’t include total ownership of the company and freedom to fire everybody above the rank of Chambermaid. (I’m pretty sure that while that’s probably not an actual job title at WotC, the job duties are roughly the same)

So here’s an IQ test: what does that tell you? All of us are sitting out here sighing and nodding in understanding. You, in the suit, sitting at the cherry wood desk in an office with a view… what does it mean to you when someone realizes, without ever meeting you in person, that scraping sewage out of a cesspit would be less crappy than working for you?

It may seem that I’ve veered off the original topic of RSE, but the real topic here is intelligence. If the right people had it, none of us would be in this mess.

Retconning

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Don’t retcon. When you royally screw up, don’t screw up again by attacking it with a giant magic marker. Doing that just makes you look childish… or like the government. Here’s how you fix it.

When you screw up, acknowledge it and talk to us.

It’s the DM’s right (and I would argue responsibility) to remove stupid things from the game. However, DMs are people too, and we don’t always see things from your point of view. In fact, since you know what you’re going to be releasing in the next year or so, and we don’t… you should assume that we never see things from your point of view. We are completely in the dark about your intentions. We do, however, remember your screwups in the past. This is not a positive situation for either side.

So when you get a bunch of negative feedback on something, you should make a tactful “press release” —to DMs and players, not to the Wall Street Journal— acknowledging that you’re seeing that some folks dislike this particular event in this particular setting. Give us some creative suggestions about how we can (A) put a spin on the event to minimize the negative impact on play and create some interesting opportunities out of it, or (B) eliminate that specific event while still using the other material in that sourcebook. This allows us to (1) see that you’re sensitive to our reactions, and (2) get as much value as possible out of each sourcebook without trashing the book or the entire edition in frustration because it seems like everything that comes after that depends on this wacko event that we have no intention of including in our game.

If you need a practical example, consider the players that you flat-out repulsed with the Time of Troubles. Not only were you changing the rules of the game they had enjoyed up until that point, but you were also trashing the Realms at the same time with this bizarre the-gods-are-duking-it-out-on-faerun-and-every-mage-is-a-wild-mage-now plotline. That was a big deal. 4e was even worse.

This ties in with RSEs, addressed elsewhere… ideally, you’ll stop making these stupid mistakes, but when they sneak in at least respect the setting and your customers enough to help us work around them.

Stonelands

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.


At a Glance

The Stonelands is a badlands at the southern edge of Anauroch.


Overview

The Landscape: What You See
Settlements
Ruins, Dungeons, Etc
Roads
Other Landmarks
Neighboring Nations & Features

Notable Individuals


Sources

  • Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting [11836] page 112
  • A Grand Tour of the Realms [1085a] page 53
Primary Sources
  • Cormyr [9410] pages 7-10, 56
Passing Mention
Maps
Other Resources

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

Goblin Marches

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.


At a Glance

The Goblin Marches is an amorphous territory between the hinterlands of civilization and sandy desolation.

Neighboring nations and regions include Anauroch to the north, the Stonelands to the east, Cormyr and the Tunlands to the south, and the Sword Coast to the west.


Sources

Primary Sources
  • Cormyr [9410] pages 5-6
  • A Grand Tour of the Realms [1085a] page 50
Passing Mention
  • Cormyr [9410] pages 5, 32, 34, 56, 57
Maps
  • Cormyr [9410] poster, inside cover
Other Resources

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

The Trackless Sea

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.


At a Glance

The Trackless Sea is a great ocean separating Faerûn from the continents to the west. The part of the sea which breaks directly on the Sword Coast is called the Sea of Swords.


Islands

Several island realms are found in the Trackless Sea and the Sea of Swords.


Sources

  • Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting [11836] (3e) page 146 describes the Trackless Sea in a sidebar; pages 146-151 outline Island Kingdoms
  • Forgotten Realms Campaign Setting [1085] (2e) A Grand Tour of the Realms pages 108-112 discuss The Island Kingdoms

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

The Lands of Intrigue

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.

At a Glance

The Lands of Intrigue, also called the Empires of the Sands, comprise the nations of Amn, Tethyr, and Calimshan.

Neighboring nations and regions include the Sword Coast to the north, the Shining Plains and the Lake of Steam to the east, the Shining Sea to the south, and the Trackless Sea to the west. The Nelanther, home to pirates, is also a threat to the west.

The year, in the Xaeyruudh campaign, is 1365 DR. No one individual can be said to control the Lands of Intrigue.

Source

  • A Grand Tour of the Realms [1085a] page 125-127

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

The Shining Plains

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.

At a Glance

The Shining Plains is a large open area between the Sea of Fallen Stars and the Lands of Intrigue.

Neighboring nations and regions include the Dragon Coast to the north, the Orsraun Mountains and beyond them Turmish and the Vilhon Reach to the east, the Deepwash to the south, Amn and Tethyr to the west, and the Giants’ Plain to the northwest.

The year, in the Xaeyruudh campaign, is 1365 DR. No one individual can be said to control the Shining Plains.

Source

  • A Grand Tour of the Realms [1085a] page 125

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.

The Giants’ Plain

At a Glance

The Giants’ Plain is a small region east of Amn and west of the Dragon Coast.

Neighboring nations and regions include the Sword Coast to the northwest, the Dragon Coast to the northeast, the Shining Plains to the southeast, and Amn to the southwest.

The year, in the Xaeyruudh campaign, is 1365 DR. No one individual can be said to control the Giants’ Plain.

Source

There are many sources for this general information, beginning with the 1e and 2e campaign settings.

Dragon Coast

This information is intended for use with the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game.


At a Glance

The Dragon Coast is the southern shoreline of the Dragonmere and Starmantle Reach, from Elversult to Telpir.


The Dragon Coast

Points of Interest

Sources

Primary Sources
Passing Mention
  • Cormyr [9410] page 35
  • Dragon Magazine #267 — The City of Sunken Spires
Maps
  • Forgotten Realms [1085] (2e campaign setting) — A Grand Tour of the Realms page 20
Other Resources

Disclaimer

Wizards of the Coast, Dungeons & Dragons, D&D, Forgotten Realms, and their logos are trademarks of Wizards of the Coast LLC in the United States and other countries. This blog is not affiliated with, endorsed, sponsored, or specifically approved by Wizards of the Coast LLC.