This is a continuation of more realistic weights for monsters. This time: oozes, and other regular/irregular shapes that are definitely not humanoid.
A valuable reference here is www.simetric.co.uk/
Mimic
The average mimic is described as 150 cubic feet and 4500 lbs. That sounds heavy, but as it turns out… that’s about the same density as a snowball.
Seriously. 4500/150 = 30 lbs per cubic foot, which is roughly equivalent to 480 kg per cubic meter. Scroll down the list of weights on the reference page given at the top of this page, and what comes up around 480? Household garbage, hydrated lime, ground-up scrap rubber, and… yup, compacted snow.
You might be saying so what. Consider the fact that coffee beans are heavier than that. Rice, apples, grits, all more dense than snow. Solid ice is 919 kg per cubic meter… mimics are supposed to be half as dense as an ice cube?
So, clearly, something is wonky. Yes, 4500 lbs is more than an empty chest would weigh, but my point is that a handful of mimic should be more significant than a handful of rice. And I really don’t think mimics should float.
I’m going to go with 2400 kg/cu m, or 150 lbs/cu ft. Seems like a big number, but packed dirt is around 2000 kg/cu m. Soapstone, brick, and porcelain are all around 2400, while marble and window glass are closer to 2600, so this seems like a good range. If you want to see big numbers, iron is 7850, steel is around 8000, and platinum is 21400.
Incidentally, I would base the mimic’s dimensions on its hit dice. Greater mimics are described in the second 2e Undermountain box as 1000 cubic feet, at 15 HD, and I think this is a better basis for calculation than 7 HD and 150 cubic feet. So here’s a simple way to calculate the size of any mimic:
HD x 2/3 = the length of one side, in feet.
cube that length to get the volume, in cubic feet.
using this formula, a 7 HD “normal” mimic would be 4.7 feet on a side and 102 cubic feet in volume. Using my suggestion of 150 lbs per cubic foot, that mimic weighs 15,244 lbs. Yea, it’s a beast… but that makes a lot more sense than letting it float on a lake because it has half the density of an ice cube!
Yea, I realize a floating mimic would have a certain appeal, but it’s too weird.
Gelatinous Cube
These are described as 15 feet on a side and 50,000 lbs. That’s about 15 lbs per cubic foot. This is about the same weight/volume ratio as cork, which as you know if you’ve ever handled cork is… pretty light. I suggest beefing the gelatinous cube up to about 50 lbs per cubic foot, or 800 kg/cu m, which is a little less than butter and significantly less than water. As a bonus, butter is a great analogy for the consistency of a gelatinous cube. This also means that, unlike a mimic, a gelatinous cube can float in water. No idea why it would want to float, considering that it would be unable to move or steer itself, but whatever.
A 15 ft cube has a volume of 3375 cu ft, which (at 50 lbs per cu ft) is 168,750 lbs. Which really doesn’t matter… unless you piss Durnan off, and instead of pulling you up into the Yawning Portal, he pushes a gelatinous cube down on you…
Just sayin. Don’t mess with Durnan.
More later.
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