Why the Tyranny of Dragons is a Bad Story… and How to Fix It

This is a draft. It may change as I find better ways to express something, or add/remove ideas.

This post is not a list of ways to fix little things in the campaign, to make it more playable. This post is not about modifying the Tyranny of Dragons to fit other settings. Those ideas are worthy of development, but I’m not addressing them here right now. This post is a much bigger statement about how the execution of the plot failed, and my suggested fixes actually demand rewriting the whole story.

I wrote this post back when Tyranny of Dragons was first announced, before the books came out. Now that the books are out and I’m reading through them, I’m working on expanding this post and making it more specific. I have not changed my mind. Reading Hoard of the Dragon Queen has only added to my conviction that serious brainfarts occurred during the construction of this campaign.

Why The Tyranny of Dragons is a Bad Story

Admittedly we haven’t really seen anything yet, but I’m concerned because so far this sounds like a colossal fail, stuffed with fail and served with a piping hot side of fail.

Okay, it’s not a terrible story. There are good parts. It’s just that the bad outweighs the good, and the good could be better. A lot better. Here are a few of my objections, and a few suggestions.

1. The Cult of the Dragon is the wrong antagonist.

For years, the evil Cult of the Dragon has devoted itself to creating undead dragons in a vain attempt to fulfill an ancient prophecy. However, the cultists were misguided. They misunderstood. But now, under new leadership, …

No. That’s not the Cult of the Dragon.

First, you’re changing the definition of the cult. One of my pressing questions for the designers of this plotline is why the Cult of the Dragon is being drafted for this cause when Tiamat already has a church. So I’ll ask that question. Why are you turning the Cult of the Dragon into another church of Tiamat? She already has a cult, dedicated solely to her, with no confusion regarding dracoliches, which has been serving her for thousands of years. Why would she care about, or trust, the Cult of the Dragon — an atheist political organization which has been butting heads with her church in Faerûn for at least the last century?

Second, it’s happening too quickly. Sammaster and his followers have been focused on creating dracoliches for almost 600 years. The lower levels of the cult worship them, and the management uses them to further their own interests. You want to waltz in and change all that? Nope, not happening. You’d be trussed up and fed to a dragon, or (if you had the wherewithal to ensure your own survival) the Cult would kick you out or leave the organization en masse. If you had any sense at all, you’d know at the outset what the outcome would be, and you wouldn’t try to shift the focus of the Cult in a short period of time. You’d solidify your control by killing off those at the top who didn’t see things your way. You would then separate the new recruits and start a shadow cult within the Cult… a sub-organization of easily dominated individuals under your control, pursuing the tasks you want them to pursue while keeping a low profile. You would build your subcult as the old guard dies off or loses interest. In 60 years or so you would have your Cult of the Chromatic Dragon. But that’s what it is… it’s a new cult… it’s not the old cult under new management. And you wouldn’t keep calling it the Cult of the Dragon, because that name is associated with dracoliches and therefore doesn’t properly glorify Tiamat. You’d either merge with the church of Tiamat, thus losing your individual identity, or you’d be a duplicate/alternate church of Tiamat and thus aggravate her lawful sensibilities and remain the target of her distrust.

In short, there’s no way for the Cult of the Dragon serving Tiamat to make much sense. What makes a lot of sense is putting the church of Tiamat in charge of the plot to bring Tiamat into Faerûn.

… the cult believes that the prophecy does not speak of undead dragons, but of a dragon empire that’s been extinct for 25,000 years.

Sammaster believes that “dead dragons” will rule the world, based on an alternative reading of the Chronicle of Years by Maglas. Elminster assures us that the text (from Cult of the Dragon, TSR 9547, page 5) reads as follows:

“And naught will be left save shattered thrones, with no rulers but the dead. Dragons shall rule the world entire…”

Sammaster read it differently, to say “But the dead dragons shall rule the world…” Since dead things clearly don’t rule anything, he figured the text must be referring to undead dragons. Thus his journey of madness, necromancy, and dracophilia commenced.

While it’s likely that the more level-headed leaders of the Cult of the Dragon might interpret the Chronicle as predicting a return to dominance by living dragons, and this might inspire a shift in the organization’s goals, nothing about Maglas’ prophecy (no matter which way you read it) suggests venerating Tiamat.

2. No churches are opposing it.

The cult has a new face and a new mission. It seeks to free Tiamat from the Nine Hells and bring her into the Forgotten Realms.

Someone is trying to bring a god into Faerûn, and no churches have a problem with it? I call shenanigans… although in a few pages I will arrive at how this could be mostly true. Still, it’s jarring to see the plot being both furthered and opposed only by nonreligious groups.

3. The alliances are not consistent with what we know of the Realms.

On one side of the war, the evil Cult of the Dragon and the Red Wizards of Thay; on the other side, heroic groups including the Harpers, the Company of the Gauntlet, the Emerald Enclave, the Lords Alliance and the Zhentarim have set aside their differences to put an end to the tyranny.

Oddly, the Zhentarim —which has a history of alliances with evil intelligent monsters including dragons— is opposed to this plan, but the Red Wizards —who have never given a darn about dragons or gods— are cooperating with the Cult of the Dragon. That is freakin weird, and there’s no acknowledgement that something strange has happened to bring this about. It’s written as if this is an unfortunate but logical happenstance.
None of the organizations listed plays nice with others. The Cult of the Dragon and the Red Wizards, sittin in a tree, K–I–S–S–I–N–G? No. They both want to take over the world, and neither of them is willing to share power. The Company of the Gauntlet? You mean the adventurers who killed a dragon once, like 250 years ago? Are they undead now, or did Bahamut resurrect them and send them to fight in his place so that he could sip some sangria with Loviatar? Makes about as much sense as everyone singing Kumbaya with the Zhentarim.

4. Tiamat is not languishing.

Tiamat, the queen of evil dragons, has languished in the Nine Hells for millennia. The cult believes that the time of her return is at hand.

Tiamat’s story (from 1e until now) is vague and/or contradictory. “Languishing” is also vague, but it doesn’t sound like the right word for what she’s been doing. Normally I don’t go around nitpicking word choices, but it’s a 25-cent word and you used it so I’m thinking maybe you chose this word for a reason. Seems logical to me.

Merriam-Webster defines “languish” primarily as becoming feeble, enervated, or dispirited. Dictionary.com adds a few more ideas: droop, fade, loss of vigor or vitality, and my favorite: “to pine with desire or longing.” If Tiamat has been languishing for 25,000 years, she’s (a) not motivated enough to get this ball rolling and (b) not strong enough to capitalize on it once a group of mortals does the hard work for her. In case it isn’t obvious, neither of those options leads to a good story.

She’s had at least four avatars in Unther in the last couple thousand years. She’s a “core” deity, so she’s active on other game worlds as well. If she were stuck in a prison cell somewhere, like Waukeen in For Duty & Deity, we should have had a “Silence of Tiamat” event to support that. But we didn’t. Who has been holding her prisoner, since when, how has nobody known about it or gone looking for her, and why isn’t her confinement specified more explicitly in the summary of this Tyranny of Dragons plot? Crickets. So she’s not being restrained by anyone or anything, and she has been active on various campaign worlds all this time. I’m not seeing the languishing. She’s actually been pretty active in the Realms, and there’s every reason to believe that other worlds are suffering her presence as well.

Adventurers throughout the Realms must join forces to face Tiamat, …

If she were languishing (i.e., feeble, weak, depressed, etc) she would not be in any position to fight off the PCs and this conclusion would be exceedingly anticlimactic.

So I guess I’m nitpicking your word choice, because your storyline isn’t consistent with any usage of that word.

5. The plot devices are lame.

To accomplish its goal, the cult needs five ancient dragon masks …

Seriously? *Sigh* …Fine.

If there are relics somewhere in Faerûn which will enable Tiamat to manifest here (to a greater extent than she already does) it seems to me that her priests in Unther should have gone looking for them already. They’ve already had at least 180 years to find them; if they haven’t found them in all that time, what would enable the Cult of the Dragon to find them in a much shorter period of time? How would the Cult of the Dragon even find out about find out about these relics, if not by visions from Tiamat? And why would Tiamat favor the Cult of the Dragon over her own church?

Again, the Cult of the Dragon is a ridiculously inferior choice of vehicles for Tiamat’s return.

6. Is this, or is this not, an RSE? Sucks to be you, either way.

The cult leaders —each one a “dragon whisperer”— have reached out to the evil dragons of the Sword Coast …

Dragons attacking cities… really sounds like an RSE to me. Then you limit the activity to one small region of Faerûn. Color me confused.

The ToD story line will will unfold across the faee of Faerun, …

My guess is that your silly “dragon masks” are believed to all be concealed on the Sword Coast — confirming that Tiamat’s priests don’t have them. So the initial phase of the campaign centers there, but will later expand into all of Faerûn. Right? Because what would the justification be for Tiamat only being interested in dominating the Sword Coast?

Their ravenous hunt for treasure throws the Sword Coast into upheaval. Neverwinter, Waterdeep, Baldur’s Gate — no city is safe from their depredations.

Neverwinter, Waterdeep, and Baldur’s Gate. That pretty much covers the cities of the Sword Coast. All… three of them. Wait. Luskan? And what’s that other city the Sea of Swords… Athkatla? Pft, who cares about Luskan; I wouldn’t want to live there if I were a dragon.

Anyway… is this an RSE, or not?

If it is —meaning the Cult and Tiamat rape, pillage, and burn the Sword Coast and then move out into the rest of the world— then you piss off everyone who’s under the laughable impression that you’ve promised a cessation of RSEs.

There’s no arguing with those who deplore your love for big dramatic events. You’ve been escalating a mad proliferation of catastrophes ever since the Time of Troubles. And now that you’ve killed off a bunch of gods, twice, destroyed vast swaths of Faerûn, twice, and perhaps partially unmade those overwhelmingly stupid mistakes with yet another huge event, you’re taking aim (again) at the civilians of Faerûn. I can’t fathom how you expect anyone who’s played in the Realms before 2008 to be excited about this plan.

If it’s not an RSE, then you aren’t doing justice to the story. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Déjà vu, yes?

The only way to avoid the moniker of “zomgwtfRSE” is to write the story in such a way that the PCs will win. Because if they don’t win, then Tiamat pwns the world, right? So they have to win. Over the course of a single campaign, the PCs will see the Cult of the Dragon rise to power, and then they’ll bring the Cult down in a mind-boggling series of successful attacks. So that you can say “look, it’s not an RSE, because we didn’t destroy anything!” This restraint would be admirable, but in this case it would unfortunately weaken all of your antagonists… and ultimately every individual DM and player, as well.

  • Tiamat: She’s a power. If thwarting her is made trivial, so is defeating Bane or Lathander. From another angle… you made Cyric undefeatable. (You effing bastards.) It follows that Tiamat must be undefeatable.
  • The church of Tiamat: you’ve negated them in your storyline anyway, but they should be written as no less of a threat than the church of Bane.
  • The Cult of the Dragon: You’ve made the Cult immensely powerful in this storyline. They contact and unify a large number of dragons, successfully assault several large and magically-able cities, and initiate bringing the essence of a god into the Realms. Stupendously powerful. In order to “win” the PCs will need to defeat the Cult, to an extent which suggests that there will not be a Cult of the Dragon in Faerûn after this campaign. Destruction is a pretty serious reduction in power.
  • DM: The power to customize things to provide the desired challenge for players should remain with the DM. It shouldn’t be difficult to see that writing this campaign so that the PCs can easily win takes a lot of DMing out of the hands of the DM.
  • Player: In spite of toppling and extinguishing the most powerful evil organization in Faerûn during this campaign, a player achieves nothing in the personal development arena by playing in a campaign which is rigged to favor him. There is no growth in a foregone conclusion of resounding success.

Tyranny of Dragons pits players against throngs of dragons, led by their five headed queen Tiamat, who has appeared in D&D lore as a key villain since the mid ’70s.

Throngs of dragons? Nevermind; you’ve irretrievably cheapened everyone already. Let me get my 30th-level fighter/29th-level magic user/27th-level cleric from 1st edition. He slew Ma Yuan and took that necklace that can turn into any weapon in existence. He then killed Thor in a bar fight and shacked up with Freya. Bring on the pansy dragons!

7. This is your idea of a (not really) birthday party.

“The Tyranny of Dragons story is the first story to launch with the new edition of the Dungeons & Dragons game. We though it should be tied to one of the most iconic villains and some of the most iconic monsters that the game has ever had.”

If this were a 40th anniversary event, I could get behind it, although I would still be making the other complaints here. It’s not. This is about the 5th edition of the Forgotten Realms setting. If it were about the anniversary, it would be happening in other worlds. Is Tiamat stomping around in Eberron? No? Then it’s a Realms event, not a D&D event.

My point here is that every time there’s a new edition of the ruleset, you feel compelled to make big sweeping changes in the Realms. These changes are stupid to begin with, because they’re unnecessary and because you never bother with foreshadowing. They become even more stupid when you drop the ball. The events are either flash-in-the-pan (the chaos associated with the Time of Troubles) or become permanent fixtures of the setting which never benefit from any positive development (the return of Shade). Sometimes they start out being permanent changes but then you change your minds and it turns into something ridiculous (the death of Bane and the removal of assassins). Generally we want them to be flashes in the pan… little firecracker bangs that we can quickly ignore.

The Time of Troubles and the Spellplague were unnecessary and ill-advised, and never should have happened in the first place. The least you can do is let us move on quickly and have no lingering effects from it. But that wouldn’t make sense on a story level, which might be why you don’t let us ignore these mistakes. You left Leira, Myrkul, and Bhaal dead through all of 2e, 3e, and 4e. Leira was particularly mystifying — even though Cyric’s story depended heavily on getting Leira’s portfolio, she never appeared in the story and was retroactively declared to have been killed by Cyric even though it couldn’t have happened. You’ve also expressed unwillingness to pretend the Spellplague never happened.

I’m not encouraging retcons, per se, but I will say a retcon which does good for the setting is better than failing to fix something which is bad. It’s way past time to stop stirring up the Realms every time you play with the rules. It’s not good for players, and it’s not even smart from a business standpoint. We can only hope that you realized that you erred with the Time of Troubles, erred even more egregiously with the Spellplague, and that the next backlash will probably be even worse. Stop screwing up your lore-rich setting just for the sake of screwing it up. Other settings may thrive that, but this one will not.

Tyranny of Dragons is not a lore-driven plotline, supported by past events and designed to develop the setting in a positive way… it’s merely the next RSE du jour, mandated by your misguided standards. Perhaps that explains why it seems you didn’t put excessive thought into the story part of it. It wasn’t conceived to be a story, after all… it’s just a marketing thing. Just another screw-up with no purpose other than to screw things up.
This approach is a massive fail in the Realms.

8. This Multi-Platform Thing

Tyranny of Dragons “will be a transmedia experience.” We’ll see parts of the story not only in the tabletop RPG, but in the organized play program, in the Neverwinter MMO, and in other outlets Perkins can’t talk about yet.

This is a terribad idea for the Realms. It might be fine in a freshly-created world — which I’ve said before is what you should have done with 4e, and now I’ll revise my own opinion: you should make a new world for each edition of the rules. If that sounds like a lot of work, then (a) stop being melodramatic and (b) stop thinking that changes in the rules necessitate changes in the settings. They never have, and they never will, unless you’re doing something wrong.

In the meantime, get all the destructiveness —and all of these wonky presentation ideas— out of your system in a sandbox setting. Cool off and then come back to the Realms when the new rules are smoothed out and working at peak efficiency, and continue expanding the lore here.

The next chapter for Dungeons & Dragons will spread across multiple modern platforms, including a new tabletop adventure, and similar experiences for console video game systems and mobile devices.

Okay, so WHY is the multi-platform idea in the top-ten list of your worst ideas ever? Because you’re doing it wrong. Realms fans are lore hogs. We like to know everything about our setting. Everything. We want ALL the information and ALL the adventures. You’re potentially picking a different medium for each bit of lore. Part of it is a book, part of it is in the MMO, part of it is an Encounters season, part of it is in console games, and part of it is going to be some kind of smartphone game/app. And who knows, there might be other parts.

“We’re thinking of Dungeons & Dragons as an entertainment experience across multiple platforms” that will move from story to story fluidly… so a plotline might start in the organized play games and finish in a published module.

You’re not telling the whole story in each medium, and that demands that we participate everywhere, and buy not just a lot of books but a lot of different things. If we don’t then we’re missing something, and if we only buy books we’re going to be missing most of the story. Objectively speaking, there’s nothing really wrong with missing something, but it bugs us… more than it bugs players of other settings, because the Realms has more lore than other settings and Realms fans are those who gravitate to this setting because of the lore. We want all of it, and by splitting the lore into multiple mediums without producing all of it in each of those mediums you’re essentially withholding parts of the setting from those of us who don’t have the desire or means to invest in additional electronic devices or games or whatever else. This is as frustrating as requiring a subscription to DDI, only worse because there are more figurative doors and a significant percentage of the lore will be locked away, accessible only to those who have purchased a smorgasbord of technology.

Like I said… in a setting with less lore, it wouldn’t be as big of a deal because the players wouldn’t care as much about the lore. In the Realms, it’s a big negative… and I suspect you know that and in fact that’s why you’re doing it this way, but if I go there then I’ll be calling you nasty names again before the end of this sentence.

9. The Flagship Setting

“The Forgotten Realms is our flagship setting for the new edition…”

The idea that you’re making the Realms the “flagship” setting again pisses me off, because it means you’re going to blow up MY house, again, and then stand back and dust yourself off and rail against the universe because we DMs and players didn’t understand your vision. Again.

We are not the problem here. Your vision is the problem here.

A Positive Note

“… however we are supporting, or will support, all of our key settings in the future.” That includes Ebberon, says Perkins, and “you are going to see more Ravenloft stuff very soon.”

I want to end this section with a couple of positives, because positives are nice and it provides some modicum of segue into my next section. I don’t care much for/about Eberron, but I admit that I’ve historically been primarily a one-setting guy.

I’m annoyed by the use of the word “key” here, because it means you’re definitely not talking about Maztica or Al-Qadim, and you’re probably not talking about Spelljammer or Planescape either. All of those deserve a comeback.

I’d be willing to write them, and I’m not in it for the money. But I suspect that you’re “not interested at this time” and that kinda makes your whole statement worthless. What you mean by “all of our key settings” is probably “Eberron, plus Ravenloft so that we could say ‘all of our key settings’ instead of ‘and our other key setting.’ It sounds better, ya know?”

Modrons will return in the upcoming fifth edition rules!

Whoa. Okay, maybe I was too hasty. But it’s really weird to just say modrons are coming back if you’re revamping the Planescape setting. So this leaves me thinking Planescape is still defunct (as far as you’re concerned anyway) but you’re going to update modrons as a core monster. Prove me wrong; make my day.

The new rules and new adventures play with the idea of in-game factions: Characters can align with certain local groups, receive awards from them, and increase in rank.

This is transparently adapted from World of Warcraft and probably other MMOs, but I don’t mind in this case because it’s a good thing and it should be adapted. There’s a lot of potential for awesome here, and I’m looking forward to seeing the designers’ ideas.

I will take this opportunity to point out that what you need, a million times harder than you needed feedback on the Next ruleset, is a public playtest of the changes you plan to make in the Realms. The lack of a Forgotten Realms playtest tells us that you don’t give a rat’s arse about our opinions of your direction for the Realms. Regardless of the truth, it’s not a good message to send.

Factions are one example of an idea which could be served by giving players a chance to see it in an alpha/beta setting, and give you our input, before everything is printed and canonized.

Anyway… enough of that happy-shiny positive crap, right? Back to the Tyranny of Dragons!

How It Could Work

Now, the constructive part of the criticism.

The “this god is imprisoned, and you have to go rescue her” thing was already done in For Duty & Deity, and probably elsewhere. So Tiamat is not a prisoner of anyone/anything. The goal of this plotline is just to bring her physically into the Realms.

She is a core deity, rather than a Realms deity, so we’re probably actually talking about getting a permanent avatar of Tiamat somewhere in Faerûn… because what would happen to her presence in other worlds if she moved wholly into the Realms? To say nothing of the fact that every other deity active in the Realms would oppose it and Ao likely wouldn’t allow it anyway.

Tiamat has had avatars in Unther before, but they were low powered and unknown to most of the Realms. This time, the whole Realms is going to know about it. They’re planning to return Toril to the days of the dragon empires, when all races served the dragons.

So, who are “they” and just how worried should we be about them? Well, the Cult of the Dragon doesn’t work. The Cult wants to control the world using dracoliches. They don’t support Tiamat, because Tiamat would take too much control of the hierarchy and activities of the Cult, and the cult leaders want that authority for themselves.

Tiamat has her own cult/church, however. She has a relatively low-powered cult in Unther, but the advantage of being a core deity is that she has servants in other worlds/planes. Abishai and other devils, plus human/demihuman/humanoid clerics and fighters.

Tiamat’s Lackeys

So here’s one possible vehicle for getting this off the ground. A few dozen devils, a few hundred mid level clerics, and a few thousand fighters have been culled from her churches across the Prime and in other planes, and brought into the Realms via portals. Each of the clerics sets up a “cell” of Tiamat’s church and gains local support through charms, favors, and when necessary blackmail. They can also requisition resources from their home worlds through those portals.

Each of these groups makes overtures to nearby chromatic dragons. Their spiel is that Tiamat is coming… to stay. Each dragon has a simple choice: hail her and be rewarded with a fiefdom when she arrives, or spurn her and die in her jaws. Since Tiamat is active in the Realms, she can provide omens and signs to doubtful dragons, to confirm that this is not a drill. Regardless of each dragon’s history with Tiamat’s church and the Cult of the Dragon, regardless of their resistance to being ruled over, the overwhelming majority of free willed dragons will choose a life of nominal servitude and a fiefdom (with the tributes and servants that promises) over a painful and humiliating death.

Another prong of Tiamat’s assault will be propaganda. It’s been successful in Unther, and while she recognizes that her popularity there was due chiefly to the widespread dissatisfaction with Gilgeam she will quickly adapt. Everyone has enemies that they hate/fear, and that means everyone has a reason to welcome the followers of Tiamat… operating under a different name, naturally.

An Example

Here’s an example of how it might work in the Dales.

First, a cleric passes through, and creates a short-term portal in the Thunder Peaks between the Northride and the Moonsea Ride. It’s relatively remote, in hostile terrain, and offers both privacy and access to humanoid slaves and informants.

A vanguard of two clerics and twenty fighters comes through from another Prime world, carrying some key supplies; they summon a couple of earth elementals to build a proper fortress. The original priest leaves them with a map of the area and moves on to set up the next portal. When finished, the fortress features permanent two way portals to their home world and a larger base in a more controlled part of Toril, through which they can receive orders and get rid of seized magic and prisoners.

The fighters begin exploring the region and reporting back to the clerics. The clerics make notes on the map left for them. Additional forces arrive from the newcomers’ homeworld, and within a couple of weeks they start ingratiating themselves on the Dalesfolk.

They take a number of guises, including adventurers, merchants, and monks of Helm. They show up at the edge of a small village with (in a hinterland area) the corpse of a dangerous monster or (in a struggling farming village) several freshly slain game animals. When brigands attack a caravan, the “monks of Helm” often bring the stolen goods back to the deprived merchant (if he survives) and ask nothing in return. Of course the brigands might have been hired by the clerics to rob the merchant, but the Dalesfolk would never find that out… dead bandits tell no tales.

Tiamat’s eyes and ears listen to the tavern talk, particularly to bits about dragons of course, and freely share relevant tales of the road which other followers of Tiamat have heard in nearby regions. They also report everything they hear to their superiors in the larger base, and in return they receive information from their neighboring bases which might be relevant to securing the loyalty of the Dalesfolk.

The Opposition

Tiamat’s followers aren’t going to do anything to draw hostile attention to themselves, but they aren’t going to go unnoticed. The agents of various good aligned, freedom loving, and anti dragon organizations are going to realize that something is up.
First, every dragon of aggressive attitude is watched by someone, and some of those watchers communicate with each other. The Cult of the Dragon (the real Cult; they’re not in cahoots with Tiamat in this version) spends a lot of time and resources pursuing chromatic dragons. The Harpers keep tabs on the Cult of the Dragon, and they’re going to investigate whenever someone marches back out of a dragon’s lair alive and smiling.

The success of Tiamat’s church depends only on keeping the extent of its activities secret. In other words, don’t leave any witnesses, but there’s no need to stress if someone escapes as long as nobody realizes that the cult spans all of Faerûn.

Obviously Tiamat’s agenda is hostile to the Realms. Living evil dragons ruling everyone, controlled by a dragon goddess, is no more acceptable than dracoliches and their handlers ruling everyone. So the Harpers are anti-Tiamat.

The Lords’ Alliance and the Merchants’ League, and other less-famous like-minded groups all over Faerûn, exist to promote trade and the safety of cities and merchants. Obviously, they’re against being ruled by dragons… or anything else that eats people.
Pretty much all adventuring bands are going to oppose the rise of dragon overlords. And really, all intelligent races —including the chromatic dragons— dislike the idea of being ruled by Tiamat.

So in the “Against Tiamat” column, we have… everyone.

The Pro-Tiamat Movement

If everyone is against her, who can be for her? The easy answer is individuals. Sammaster is no great fan of Tiamat, but his “vision” provides an example of how one person can arrive at a viewpoint which is not representative of his race. This explains the fact that Tiamat, in spite of having an agenda which is inherently destructive to all non-dragons, has (potentially) priests of every known race.

The more complicated answer is everyone who hates someone who hates her. Her church is strong in Unther because she opposes Gilgeam, who is —by virtue of his political power and propensity for ripping people limb from limb— widely seen as the worst thing to ever happen to Unther. Up until the point where Tiamat eats a crowd of people in front of the palace, she’ll be seen as a great improvement over the psychotic God King.

This opens the door for a variety of organizations on Faerûn supporting Tiamat, due to the fact that the Harpers oppose her. Their support is weak, however, and centers on killing Harpers.

The Cult of the Dragon doesn’t want Tiamat in the Realms. They will, however, ally with her church in order to further their own agenda which includes destroying their mutual enemies. Likewise the Red Wizards and the Zhentarim. Likewise the Eldreth Veluuthra and the Twisted Rune. All of these organizations crave power, and therefore oppose the authority of Tiamat. They’re all intelligent enough to keep their real motivations quiet, though, in a show of support for anyone who wants to kill Harpers.

Also offering superficial support to Tiamat’s priests are elements of the churches of Auril, Bane, Beshaba, Cyric, Kossuth, Loviatar, Malar, Mask, Shar, Talona, Talos, Umberlee, and Velsharoon. Not because they want Tiamat in the Realms —none of them do— but because since Tiamat opposes everything other than herself, all of these churches have enemies in common with her. Tempus lives for battle, and there’s going to be plenty of that. Gargauth’s portfolio includes betrayal, cruelty, corruption, and powerbrokers… his church is ally to everyone who has any ambition. Same with Garagos and his portfolio of war, destruction, and plunder.

Of course, many of these churches oppose each other, so each seeks a very vague alliance which will enable them to kill anyone they dislike without reprisals from the church of Tiamat. And since Tiamat’s vision of the Faerunian pantheon consists solely of her, she sees this as a great orgy of mutual destruction among her enemies, and amiably grants those alliances on the condition that each church actually step up their activities against their enemies.

To entice other groups to make similar deals, and thus weaken themselves as well as their enemies, the church of Tiamat offers a seemingly bottomless store of armor, weapons, and money for hiring local mercenaries and specialists. (Remember they have supply lines coming from dozens of other worlds.) A finite but still large number of Tiamat’s spawn is also available, for both defensive and offensive operations.
Tiamat’s priests proceed with their plans, aided by the campaign of terrorism and distraction waged by all the evil churches of the Realms. Good and neutral deities will be unable to mount a meaningful offense, as the low-key opposition of evil churches escalates into a multi-front war.

Alliances

This is a huge free-for-all. Who really stands where?

The Harpers, the Lords’ Alliance and other defensive political organizations, the Merchants’ League and other defensive mercantile organizations, and basically all right-thinkers oppose Tiamat. However, they’re kept from making a meaningful stand by an endless string of small attacks from all the organizations which oppose them.

These evil organizations simultaneously (and often unwittingly) cripple themselves in the process. While the church of Tiamat will supply them with armor, weapons, minions, and money, there is one vital resource which is irreplaceable… talent. As grudge turns to vendetta, and skirmishes become wars, lieutenants and then leaders are slain in battle and assassinated by ambitious subordinates. Promotions ensure that the organizations survive… but experience and wisdom is inevitably reduced over time. As a result, the new leaders are less able to anticipate their own demise, less able to resist the honeyed words of Tiamat’s fiendish negotiators, and the process of assimilating and eliminating the resistance accelerates.

All churches oppose Tiamat, but none can do so effectively. Evil churches are busy attacking the enemies of Tiamat, partly because of their shared antipathy but also to protect their own interests by feigning alliance with Tiamat’s cause. As long as the church of Bane maintains pressure on the church of Chauntea, for instance, Banites need not fear attacks from the followers of Tiamat; falter, and they become fair game. All churches are consequently weakened by fending off incessant small scale attacks from other churches.

Of course if all the deceit were removed, everyone would oppose Tiamat. No alliances would be made with her church — as stated in the awesome old movie War Games, the only winning move is not to play. Each church would independently slay Tiamat’s followers where they’re found and commit the remainder of their resources to protecting themselves and counteracting Tiamat’s propaganda. But the deceit is inherent to the plot. No evil church realizes (or believes, if told) that they’re not the only ones who made a deal with the Devil.

Notes

First of all, this is an RSE. If you’re planning to let the PCs pwn Tiamat and the Cult of the Dragon in a single lifetime, then my version is a bigger RSE than yours — I’m going to mess up the Realms for several human generations. I’ll own up to that, and you should too. Some people will be upset about it, but (a) you should never have suggested that you were going to back off on RSEs; you know you won’t, and (b) I offer you the means to utterly escape their wrath in the Key Points section below.

This plot works for a couple of reasons. First, very little strain is placed on the resources available to Tiamat’s priests on Toril, or any other single world. Your version has the Cult of the Dragon doing all the legwork. In this one, each cell of the church is created by priests from another world and they each bring their own resources from home. Second, the enormity of the campaign is belied by the simplicity of each step, and the fact that only Tiamat knows all the steps so there is little for her individual priests to think about except their direct orders. That’s a recipe for success. Third, in spite of toppling thrones and killing off NPCs indiscriminately and creating a new Dark Age in the Realms… in spite of being the second-biggest RSE ever to hit the Realms… it still works if you abide by my demands in the Key Points section below. (Hint: because those who want to use it can use it whenever they want, and nobody who hates it is forced to deal with it.)

Tiamat is Lawful, and she’s an intelligent schemer. She’s not just some stupid beast, easily shmoozed by the Cult of the Dragon and easily defeated by the PCs. I say it’s [u]her[/u] plan, not the work of mortals, and that her plan is going to be well-reasoned, carefully researched, and precisely executed. She’s been working on this for a while, watching the rise and fall of Faerûn’s nations for perhaps a thousand years… or perhaps the tens of thousands since the fall of the dragon empires. (One drawback of having her watching Toril for all of that time is that she would have seen the making of the Dracorage Mythal, and if she cared about her dragons here she would have told them how to thwart it, or how to destroy it in the millennia since then.) There may be stumbling blocks and temporary setbacks, but nothing the occupants of Toril can do will knock her off her game. She knows exactly where to strike, and when, and who to frame for it, to maximize the results. Without fail, she will destroy the means of escape before she attacks.

She’s also a dragon. The attack, when it comes, will be carried out with overwhelming force. Overkill is not something that bothers her. Even in the event of unforeseen factors (like the PCs) the chance of failure is infinitesimal.

The roles of metallic and other dragons in this conflict still has to be explored. They won’t sit idly by, of course. Using Bahamut to oppose Tiamat is cliché and evokes Dragonlance, and thus probably should not be done. As Tiamat’s plan unfolds and approaches success, foes will come out of woodwork, so to speak, including Elminster, various liches and of course dracoliches (who fancy themselves godlings in their own right and will not bow to her), and others… but Tiamat will have anticipated them all and will know how to defeat or deflect them. Defending the Realms falls on the PCs’ shoulders because mortal adventurers are the one element she did not anticipate. (No dragon ever does.)

However, Tiamat herself is not a realistic foe. She shouldn’t be statted, but even her avatar should be a CR 40 or so in 3e terms. A direct assault should be the worst possible plan. The PCs should have to work their way through her hierarchy of agents, gradually eliminating her support in the Realms. Combat is imminent all day every day, but meaningful victories should be few and far between, punctuated by careful planning and securing reliable allies.

The main task of the campaign is to let the PCs gradually tumble to the realization of how utterly hosed they are, and then offer them mere pinpricks of hope which, when properly capitalized upon, seem to have almost no effect but over time create a small tear in Tiamat’s well-woven tapestry of doom. A tear which will not immediately bring victory —that would cheapen their foe— but can enable future generations of PCs to bring their own indomitable wills to bear on the task of freeing Faerûn from draconic rule.

Key Points

Finally, here’s a short list of vital facets which this campaign should feature in order to maximize playability and customer approval.

  • Make it time-flexible. I should be able to place this campaign into MY Realms at any point after all of the named organizations exist, without even editing anything. If I’m willing to create some new organizations and substitute them in, I should gain even more flexibility.
  • Make it optional. Assuming good writing, most of us will appreciate the campaign for its high quality. Hopefully many will find a place for it in their own campaigns. However, some will not be interested… that’s just a fact. You can easily avoid alienating this percentage of your customers by simply avoiding assumptions. Future products should acknowledge the possibility that this campaign has been played, but must not assume it. So is this canon? Only if your DM says it is.

That is how RSEs should be done. Big, theatrical, reverberating, a bit terrifying if possible… tons of room for PCs to soak up the limelight and earn their stripes… and utterly, invigoratingly, gloriously optional.

Sources

Canon: Definition and Role

Recently we’ve been buzzing on Candlekeep about “Things that 4e taught me about Faerun.” It starts out entertaining and leads quickly into a sarcastic analysis of how 4e has freed us to reject canon. Someone observed that in a shared setting, “everyone has to keep the greater picture in mind and follow some common rules.” A snarky observation immediately formed in my own mind, because that’s how it works. I chose not to post my reply on Candlekeep because in addition to being too lengthy it’s really my take on what canon should be and the role it should perform in a setting, and how WotC has been failing miserably in its duty as publisher of the Realms. Instead, I’m posting my (somewhat edited for the removal of context) reply here in case I want to reinterpret or develop it at some point. You should feel free to comment as well.

The first brief part of my reply, which I did post on Candlekeep, is that I agree with the observation quoted above, but WotC obviously disagrees… if they had even the slightest sense of a greater picture or a shred of respect for the concept of a shared setting, the changes made to the Realms in 4e would not have happened.

I’ll pick up there, and get around to the role of canon in short order.


RSEs are a problem.

Ignoring the argument against RSEs in general for a minute, they’re a problem even on a superficial level.

If the goal was increasing the playability of the setting, RSEs like the Spellplague would include omens (both in-game foreshadowing for PCs to see/hear and out-of-game warnings for DMs and players) and aftermath (meaning development of the setting which builds on the event, in addition to the unrelated stuff that was already planned). Additions would be made to the setting without taking anything away.

Contrast this idea with the handling of the Time of Troubles. No leadup, and no aftermath. No in-game development around the event at all, just a big boom plopped into everybody’s campaigns and the unfathomable assumption that life in-game will revert to normalcy immediately upon the event’s conclusion. The TOT added nothing to the Realms except Kelemvor, a new Mystra, magic-dead/wild zones, and Cyric. Each of these additions was potentially interesting but with the exception of Cyric none of them were developed in subsequent products. Overbalancing the additions to the game, the TOT removed several gods, killed off an entire class of NPCs, and warped the relations between historically friendly churches in unproductive ways (everyone suddenly hates Helm). Bane and assassins were later added back in, when someone apparently realized that they shouldn’t have been removed in the first place. I dig back in time for that example, instead of staying with the Spellplague, because it was the precedent and it should be evident that the Spellplague was 100x bigger/worse in every regard.

The TOT, the Spellplague, the return of Shade… these ideas each came from one person, who either had creative control over the setting or got the approval of someone with creative control, and those became the new directions for Realms development going forward. The ideas spawned during these feverdreams are not always bad; I’m cautiously optimistic about Mike Mearls’ plans for D&D Next — I’m reserving judgment about the 5e changes in the Realms until more info is available, but D&D itself looks playable. But most of the dramatic changes within the Realms have been, if we were able to trace them back to their source, one person yanking the Realms into an unstable orbit. That yank got approved by a lunatic who happened to be sitting in the driver’s seat of Realms development at WotC. That individual exhibited 100% enthusiasm and 0% foresight, consideration, respect, or planning, and once they injected themselves into the idea there was no stopping them. From that point forward, it’s the heart of the brand: designers and authors can either jump on the bandwagon or be removed from the team.

The Spellplague can be distilled down to a yank: kill Mystra off. Of course there is a bigger picture here; the overall motivation for the Spellplague was to justify/support the new edition of the ruleset. The rulebooks are changing, and a bunch of NPC stat blocks have to be rewritten, but it’s gonna be hard to justify charging 40 bucks for a book of revised stat blocks, plus there’s a desire to sell a lot more than just one book, so this creates a “need” to rewrite the Realms. And Mystra wasn’t the only power to be killed off, but the others were probably afterthoughts which came into the picture as (1) a justification for Mystra’s removal took shape and (2) someone decided which deities were going to be included in the 4e pantheon. The physical destruction wrought in the Realms can be attributed to the dissolution of the Weave which was “necessary” due to Mystra’s removal. Now, with the transition of 4e to 5e, we’re finally hearing “No wait, that’s going to mess everything up; bring her back.” No undoing of the Spellplague, because retcons are bad, right? We just need Mystra back, and we’ll move forward from here. My question is why couldn’t someone have said “Uh, no… that’s a very bad and unjustifiable idea” during the brainstorming of the Spellplague? There are several places in the design process where this statement would have been advisable. The only available conclusion is that there was no brainstorming. The decision was made by one person, and that was that.

Some of my campaign ideas are pretty drastic… I chose to develop the sarrukh awakening plotline (dropped at the end of 3e) through a logical progression where serpents retake (at least) the continent which includes Faerûn. Of course, the PCs (multiple generations of them) have to find, rally, and unite allies over the course of time, first resisting the invasion in Mulhorand, later throwing off reptilian domination in another place, and eventually assaulting a sarrukh stronghold, and through their victory finally galvanizing a whole continent/world of people who’ve known only slavery for a thousand years to rise up and claim their freedom. The sarrukh reshape mountain ranges and alter the climate to facilitate the spread of their armies, and at the end of the story Faerun looks different. Jungles and forests cover much more of the land, oceans have expanded, and rivers and swamps are all over the place. Offstage, various overlooked and believed-dormant powers including Ulutiu and Leira play key roles in protecting certain regions of the world and thus ensuring the survival of the human and demihuman races while others, like Gruumsh and Yondalla, send avatars to take a direct hand in defending their peoples. In the limelight, the PCs have the opportunity to negotiate and attempt to preserve difficult alliances between the humanoid races and various creatures including drow, phaerimm, giants, and dragons, and future PCs may try to maintain those alliances instead of reverting to enmity. Compared to the Old Grey Box, that’s absolute crazytalk.

The key consideration which can allow my campaign, and every other DM’s campaign, to potentially be interesting to others, is that we’re not writing canon. You might think my ideas are absolutely idiotic, and that’s fine. We can each be as crazy as we want, and we can all cherrypick ideas from each other if we want to, because our visions of the Realms don’t have to affect anyone else’s. For that matter, each campaign that each of us runs is different. My sarrukh campaign is going to be pretty dramatic… but I also want to run an Al-Qadim campaign which will probably progress in a much tamer direction.

Canon (told you I’d get here) is both permanent and universal. It’s how the Realms is presented to new players, and it provides the foundation for all of our campaigns.

And that’s why it needs to be consistent, solid, respectful to the past development of the setting, and laden with ridiculous amounts of awesome stories and bazillions of loose ends and available plot hooks. It needs to be stable. Few/no RSEs, a line of sourcebooks (for dice-and-character-sheets gaming) that gives a paused-timeline snapshot of the entire setting, another line of sourcebooks that presents optional past/future material in sufficient detail that campaigns can be set in alternative times, and novels and adventures that span all of the above. Because it’s supposed to be a foundation. It’s not supposed to be a bomb detonation zone. And it’s not supposed to dictate the future to anyone… it’s supposed to create possibilities, not destroy them.

If fundamental events in the canon must be rejected by a large number of DMs in order to modify the setting sufficiently to make it enjoyable, then the canon is screwed up. This is what changed in 4e, for me at least. I enjoyed the Old Grey Box. I enjoyed the massive proliferation of lore that came with 2e. Outside of the map and the changing of many/all population figures, I enjoyed most of what I read in 3e. 4e was basically a truckload of bricks dumped on everything. I’m not saying anything about the quality of the 4e writing… I’ve only looked at maybe 0.05% of it. I’m saying it destroyed what came before. 4e rewrote the Realms, into something different which fraudulently used the same label. Regardless of the quality of the writing, the changes were fundamentally wrongheaded.

The canon Realms needs to be treated with Ed Greenwood’s approach, not WotC’s approach. Ed’s philosophy of design, stated clearly somewhere but I don’t have the quote, is to create at least three loose ends for every one you tie up. WotC’s philosophy is summed up by taking unique and different things and making them conform to an arbitrary norm. They turned the God-Kings of Mulhorand into standard gods and had them leave the Realms after 6000 years or so of residence. They kill off uniquely Realmsian deities in each conflict and leave generic deities taken from other pantheons in place. Ed has dozens of different ways spellcasters can utilize and interact with magic in the Realms. WotC has two, and they’re taken directly from the PH.

I’m not saying “all hail Ed.” I’m saying “all hail creativity and diversity and lore.” I’m saying that in the past WotC has been failing, with increasing frequency and amplitude, since acquiring TSR. Which was an utterly bizarre decision in the first place; why they didn’t stick with M:TG and focus on CCGs I’ll probably never understand.

I’m disgusted with WotC’s apparent philosophy through 4e, and as much as I love role-playing and D&D in particular and the Realms above all, I wouldn’t be able to make eye contact with myself in a mirror if I were writing for WotC. All due respect to those who love the Realms and still manage to stomach dealing with WotC… including and especially Ed himself. My own principles (and unapologetic passion) wouldn’t let me do it; I’d be calling stupid Stupid, every minute of every day.

That’s why I’m looking forward to 5e… because it sounds like someone with a few active brain cells is stepping up and acknowledging (though not entirely to my satisfaction) that they’ve gone off-course and some corrections need to be made.

Hallelujah!

Regarding Art

Christians and puritans have been getting huffy about boobs since the beginning of their religions. Their opinions are no more rational or deserving of accommodation than stoning or witch hunts.

Drawing nipples is not an attack on women. I really don’t think it’s nipples that the feminists (note: I’m using that word properly; it’s not an insult) object to. Admiring the human body is not an attack. Even when the admiration veers into the realm of perving; it’s still not an attack. Disrespecting women is an attack on women, and the perving becomes a problem when it becomes disrespectful. Calling a woman slutty or cheap when she gets naked… that’s an attack, on her and on all women who exercise the same fundamental right to wear or not wear whatever they choose whenever they choose. So basically all women, at least in the USA, where women are arrested if anyone sees a bare nipple.

Pictures of naked women do not repel female gamers. At least, not the ones who have rejected the ridiculous fearmongering of their great-great-grandparents. Pictures of stupid women repel female gamers, because they promote disrespect of women. There’s some overlap, but they’re two different groups of pictures. A picture of a nude woman? Not offensive; I don’t know a single girl or woman who would refuse to read a book or play a game based solely on a picture of a naked woman… as long as the woman isn’t being portrayed as stupid. A picture of a woman choosing to fight a dangerous monster without the same amount of protection as men would choose to wear in that situation? That’s insulting. This isn’t rocket science. Nudity is not the problem. Lack of respect is the problem. And I’m guessing most artists know the difference… but they draw what they’re hired to draw. So ask them to draw smart women, and leave the door open for nudity within that context.

One final bit of food for thought on the subject of art. Drawing a woman who is clearly exposing herself deliberately, but “creatively” employing your artistic talents to cover her nipples with braids of her hair, or her arms, or a tree branch… that’s the biggest insult of all. You’re not just treating her differently than a man; that’s bad enough, but on top of that you’re depriving her of the right to be naked even when she makes the choice to be naked. You’re saying she doesn’t have the ability to expose herself, to even the same extent that we expect men to expose themselves whenever they walk outside in the summer months. Would you draw a picture of a guy barbecuing with his friends in the back yard, and use tree branches to block out his nipples? No, and it wouldn’t be artistic to do so… it would be pointless, and stupid. It is equally pointless and stupid to avoid showing a woman’s nipples. Either draw her dressed, or draw her undressed, but don’t make a special effort to hide her nipples.

Women have nipples, just like men, and —news flash— we’ve all seen them before. The sooner you stop making a big deal about women’s nipples, the sooner we’ll have less violent crime against women. So grow a spine, and welcome anyone who complains about it to the new millennium.

In the Nick of Time, or Too Little Too Late?

This is a summary of my thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e D&D). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

I don’t know the answer to the question asked in the title. I guess we’ll all see, when 5e hits the shelves. In the meantime, though, I’m seeing a lot of mixed feelings on forums. Very strong opinions, in complete opposition to each other. Several people come at it from a business standpoint, but that’s a boring approach… plus, their savvy is very open to question. Others are saying “no matter what you do, YOU HAVE TO *insert personal wish list here!!!one” Some DMs and players just don’t care what’s coming out anymore; they’re playing Pathfinder, or even first or second edition, and sharing their campaigns in various communities both online and in person, and they’re not planning on buying anything from WotC in the future. Others are sitting in the back of the theater with some popcorn, waiting to see what comes next. I guess I have a lot of each of those viewpoints, rolled up into a giant ball of “MEH, Zeusdammit!”

So I’m gonna break it down, or try to. This is more for me than for you. I have a lot of thoughts in my head, with more piling on continuously, and without some organization I go steadily more bonkers.

The Philosophy

One point that I don’t think has been made sufficiently clear to WotC/Hasbro up to this point, and I think it’s important to get this out in the open up front because it’s a foundation for the new direction of thought that the Powers That Be need to find is: we don’t need you. We really don’t. It’s great having somebody publishing gaming books, but what we need is the creativity, without the chain-jerking and big price tags. If WotC goes belly-up, we will continue playing. Some of us will migrate to different game systems, but others will start new publishing labels and keep D&D alive in substance even if not in name. The game is far more durable than the company. So the future depends on players.

Ed Greenwood seems to be pretty excited about what’s coming, and that counts for a lot with me, but from where I’m sitting —without the benefit of knowing even whatever Ed knows about what WotC has up its sleeve— it seems foolish to not be cynical about this. Here’s one cynic’s opinion.

The Testing

I think looking for more customer input is a good thing. I just don’t know if it will be enough. It’s up to the folks in charge, to prove that they’re sincere about not simply paying lip service to fans but actually taking the feedback to heart.

The Rules

Personally, I’m not worried about the 5e rules. I’ve played every edition of the game, and each one has been playable and enjoyable. I haven’t necessarily liked every single nuance of the rules, but I’ve found plenty to like. I have faith, based on 30 years of reading and playing, that the designers will come up with something cool, yet again. I also have faith that they will screw up the Forgotten Realms, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

There are a couple of priorities I would focus on, if I were in charge. First, as regards the D&D rules, reinstate 1e through 3.5e rules, and retain 4e rules. Introduce 5e rules as an option rather than a replacement. All six rulesets should be valid.

A New Setting

Debut the array of ruleset options in a “new” setting. By “new” I mean either a completely new setting or a previously published setting that has been gathering dust for a while. A brand-spanking-new setting is obviously a good option, but revamping one you already own offers the opportunity to reacquire fans you lost when you made the misguided decision (at least in their minds) to stop developing their favorite alternate reality. I suggest Planescape or Mystara. Mystara might be a more risky option, but one that’s probably worth looking into. It would need to be handled properly to avoid competition with the Realms and Eberron, but done right it would be a brilliant “new” setting. Put out the fires and develop this chosen setting a bit before you write the 5e Forgotten Realms or Eberron campaign settings. Regardless of it being the first setting you retool, it’s not the official setting. Don’t declare anything to be “the official setting” of any ruleset.

Regarding the Forgotten Realms and other settings…

A great way to stop pissing everybody off would be to treat each setting like it belongs to the fans. Give us the benefit of the designers’ creativity, since that’s what we’re paying for when we buy the products, but actively seek our feedback —and act on it— so that you avoid screwing stuff up.

Case in point: No more RSE. Big events are the demesne of individual DMs. Your role as the producer of a setting is to provide a complete and usable foundation upon which thousands of different campaigns will rest. The more unstable you cause the foundation to be, the more the setting suffers. Can I get a “DUH”?

In the Realms, Rewind to 1357 DR, and turn the Post-Apocalyptic Realms into an Arcane Age setting. This can be done without a retcon, at least to the same extent that you’ve declined to describe past changes as retcons. This would mean that the 2e through 4e Realms were exploring the future, or a possible path for the future to take. This is the simple and elegant solution; there are other solutions, which don’t include rewinding to 1357, but they’re more complicated. Also, Stop screwing around with the maps.

Regarding Product Design…

You corporate types who are only concerned with the bottom line: accept that when the creative department argues with you, you’re wrong and they’re right. One exception to this rule of thumb: if the creative people want to incorporate more RSE into the official timeline… then they’re wrong, and you should let them know that their paycheck depends on them growing a brain, and quick.

Regardless of what anyone tells you, what we actually need in this area is organization. The cerebral folks want fluff, and the pithy folks want crunch. So give us both, but do it in a way that enables each of us to access what we want. This means campaign setting books are for campaign material… and rule books are for rules. Crunch and fluff do not belong in the same book. Basically never-ever.

Other Concerns

Lower prices. Do it now.

No more interior art.

No more retconning.

Nipples… not a big deal. Stupidity… big deal.

Ideas from other sources…

More thoughts are probably coming soon.

Perspective

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Those of us who are still around from the early days (1982 for me) are not here out of loyalty to the company… some of us might be fans of particular designers, but you’ve fired or lost most of the old guard (and the next guard, and the one after that) so the customers you still have are those who are still stubbornly finding ways to eke out some enjoyment from playing D&D.

We’re still here because we enjoy playing with our friends. We’re here because we love sitting around a table talking and eating and drinking and laughing and maybe even crying, rolling dice and feeling like kids going into Narnia. You, as the heads of WotC/Hasbro, have about as much significance in that picture as that bag of Doritos that refuses to open until someone yanks just hard enough and then the bag explodes everywhere. You annoy the piss out of us periodically, and then, as quickly as possible, we get back to having fun.

We’re here because we enjoy the game, the way we play it. Which, in case it isn’t obvious, may or may not be according to the published rules. The more wildly varying rulesets you give us, the more diluted the game gets with house rules and halfway points. I don’t have statistics, but I’m guessing the only time people play straight-up 4e rules is when they’re participating in Encounters sessions. At home, I bet the rules are different.

And it’s not even that 4e is a bad rules system… I haven’t invested in it because I’m currently unemployed, and I sank more into the previous rulesets than some people earn in a year. 4e isn’t necessarily a bad ruleset. We now have 5 rulesets, though, and everybody seems to love one and hate the rest. So when we’re looking for local gamers, not only do we have to find people who aren’t going to scream and brandish Bibles at us (thank you, by the way, Biblethumpers… it’s nice to have a foolproof way to identify raving idiots) but we’re also limited to people who are on the same page as far as their ruleset-of-choice.

The point is… you (Wizards of the Coast) are expendable. It’s actually been that way since Day One, but it’s more pronounced now than it used to be. We play, the way we want to play. Rulebooks are a convenient starting point, and a way to keep things organized, but that’s it. And some of us have a whole lot of rulebooks at this point. The real essence of the game —the enjoyment— comes from the setting, and what the minds of the DM and players do with that setting. And we’re already getting a bunch of that from Candlekeep and other free sources.

So, here’s some perspective.

If WotC kicks the bucket, D&D will live on, and so will gaming.

When we gripe, we’re doing you a favor, though some of us may not realize it at the time. We’re giving you an opportunity to fix things… before we stop buying from you, you go the way of the dodo, and we start getting our role-playing fixes from other companies, or *le gasp* making it up ourselves.

So it’s great that you’re listening now, but don’t miss the message underlying this whole situation:

WotC needs players a hell of a lot more than players need WotC.

Don’t bother with any sort of “we’re the good guys here, we’re giving you guys the game you love playing.” No, you’re here to make a buck, and everybody knows it. You make decisions based on money first and public perceptions second, and the question of what makes a good product may or may not appear somewhere further down the priority list.

Authors who play and DM care about what makes a great gaming product, and that’s why we like authors. Suits don’t care about the game, and that’s why suits can never be good guys.

I get that money matters. Makes the world go around, and all that. I get it; I have to put spaghetti on the table too. The difference is that I’m content with spaghetti; I don’t have any desire for caviar, or a Rolls in the driveway. Having a bunch of fans glom me at a con would be much tastier than any slimy, salty, stinking fish eggs anyway. Balancing quality and profitability is good, but I don’t believe for a second that that’s what’s been going on. What’s going on is too much partying in the temple of Abbathor, and as long as he’s in charge WotC will ultimately fail all of its saving throws.

Cynic’s Explanation

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

This is conjecture. Cynical conjecture. It should not be taken as Wizards of the Coast’s real motivations… unless it turns out that Cynic is right. In the meantime, I don’t have the inside scoop on goings-on at WotC, and nobody is feeding me any information. I probably know less than what’s in the news. This is just one way of looking at things, from the outside where most of us stand. I anticipate at least one person proving himself (yea, I’m a sexist; I firmly believe men are the dumber gender) a complete dolt by ignoring this intro paragraph and pasting the following into a forum as a quote from Wizards… which it is not, just in case that somehow wasn’t clear.

Cynic thinks that somebody, somewhere, came up with an idea which is simultaneously brilliant and a huge slap in the face to players.

Ask the customers what they want. While they’re responding, we (the Ravenloft Powers) come up with a new version of D&D, maybe start by reverting to 3.5e and re-add the fun parts of 4e, with some different flavor text or whatever. We have creative people to come up with all that googah happy-rainbow garbage. We’ll take the suggestions that we can work in without wasting a lot of time on it, and while still maximizing appeal to our 11 yr old European-descent American male target demographic. Customers will be happy because we asked for their input, but the kicker is that they can’t hate 5e because hey… they asked for it. We asked what they wanted, and gave it to them. Close enough, anyway. How do you complain about that?

With the unspoken understanding, behind the scenes, that customers are not, by any stretch of the imagination, actually contributing anything meaningful to the process of creating 5e. The great thing (from a corporate standpoint) is that customers won’t know which changes came from other gamers’ suggestions and which ones came from WotC staff, the magic 8 ball, or the monkey that only the CEO can see.

It’s been theorized that Wizards feels that D&D needs to be more like WoW in order to successfully compete with WoW. This theory resonates with me (which is why I remember it) because 4e looks to me like it’s trying to be a tabletop version of an MMO. Trying too hard.

Anyway, here’s my point in introducing Cynic: I think your (WotC) success will depend on how well you can prove Cynic wrong. I honestly wish you a resounding success, because I would like to see D&D persist. However, I hope you’ll forgive me if I decline to hold my breath, and instead continue developing campaign material (and possibly game systems) on my own. Cynic and I go way back, and too often he’s been right.

Time Frame (and Patience)

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Specifically regarding the Forgotten Realms…

Resurrect the Arcane Age product line.
With a new name. Something less specific. Use this avenue for visiting the societies of both the past and future Realms. Develop this product line to include Imaskar, Aryvandaar, the Sarrukh empires, etc. Develop the post-spellplague Realms as a setting in this product line, so that those who enjoy it can continue to play there and have a framework for developing the Realms in that timeline.

For the main product line…

Rewind to 1357 DR. Freeze.
In ten years, it will be 2022 on Earth but the year will still be 1357 in the Realms. Why? Because once you started telling us about 1367, you never went back to fill in the rest of the Realms. Instead, you started over with the so-called Heartlands in 1367. On this subject, lose the term “Heartlands.” It’s a stupid term, because every place is the heart of the land to those who live there. Calling Cormyr and the Dales the Heartlands is not only arbitrary, it’s exclusionist. You want the Realms to be inclusionist, because that’s what will make products sell. Drop “the Heartlands” like a plague-ridden hot potato. Anyway, it was the same again in 1372, and again in 1479. Stop doing that. Seriously. Stop.

There’s been a continuous push to move along the timeline, but ironically it’s made the Realms stagnant because you kept giving us books about the same places over and over again. You’ve still never really developed Lapaliiya, or Narfell, or hundreds of other places. But we have all kinds of info about Cormyr (and the Dales, and Waterdeep). Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those places, but I get really sick of seeing Cormyr in every campaign setting when the other major continents haven’t been touched in one yet.

You really think you’ll run out of things to write about? Then you are doin it wrong, and you should move over and let someone else take the helm. I could give you a list of products that would take you 100 years to publish, all without advancing the timeline. Ed could probably multiply that by 100.

Tell us about the Realms. Develop the whole planet, and do it pretty much equally. Go ahead and tell us more about Cormyr every once in a while, but stop “quitting early” with regards to the rest of the Realms just so that you can start over with the part you know a lot about. Quit updating stat blocks… instead, give us all-new stuff in every single product. Just stop the timeline, for the main product line, and use the revamped Arcane Age line to talk about future and past civilizations… that’s what the line was made for.

So it’s 1357, period. The Time of Troubles may happen next year, or it may not, depending on who’s DMing. There is no return of Netheril, or Myth Drannor, or Imaskar, or Miyeritar, yet. Those places live in the past, and perhaps the future, along with post-spellplague Abeir-Toril. Tell us about Now, and tell us something about the past and future, but leave the decisions up to individual gaming groups.

On a related note… patience.

You have to quit killing great product lines.
I’m referring to Arcane Age, but not just Arcane Age. I don’t claim to have all the answers regarding why many people didn’t buy into Al-Qadim and Maztica and Kara-Tur and the Hordelands, but they were good ideas. Maybe you should have tested the waters with a sourcebook (and maybe a few short stories in some of the Realms anthologies) before betting the farm on them as full campaign settings. I dunno.

But that way, if there wasn’t a huge deluge of interest immediately, you’re not so deeply invested. You can periodically dip a toe in the water with some short stories and maybe an adventure here and there, and — speaking for Al-Qadim at least, interest would surely have developed.

But you pounced on it, despaired at the lack of immediate overwhelming enthusiasm from the customers, and made a full retreat to pretend it never happened, and thus came out of it with gum in your hair and a toilet paper tail on your shoe. Seriously, though… I have to think you just weren’t looking at the Al-Qadim sales figures in the right light. The product was great. Therefore something else was to blame for any lack of success. Spelljammer and Ravenloft, too, most especially Masque of the Red Death… so much potential there. You kept Planescape going for a while, which was great, but you eventually ditched that too. Neat ideas… somebody just decided that the ball should be dropped. Get rid of that person; they’re the problem… the ideas are not the problem.

In the meantime, since you’re not using them, how about you give those old copyrights to me. I need to pay off student loans and I’m pretty sure any one of your “failed” settings could be an answer. Or give me the green light to reboot the Arcane Age line, and I’ll be set with a steady income and plenty of writing to do for the rest of my life.

The Edition Wars

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Debates over which edition of the game are “better” are going to hound each new version of any game, and it’s going to get worse not better over time. This is because, logically, whenever you change the rules, some people are going to like the old rules better, or just act out their inner instinct to be a stick in the mud. The more systems you have, the more division (and confusion) there is.

Personally, I think complaining about changes in rules is an unconscious drift from role-playing toward roll-playing. If both get the job done, why does it matter what dice you roll or what the modifiers are? But fine. This is an issue. Here’s how you solve it.

Support all versions of the rules.

1e, 2e, 3e, 3.5e, 4e, 5e… all need to be valid. With each new ruleset, you’ve lost customers. Some of them eventually come back, some don’t. Do you want them back, or not?

There are no wrong ways to play. This is role-playing, not roll-playing. So stop emphasizing the switch from old to new. Review the old versions of the game, purely from a balance/fairness angle, and don’t change them but put up a free .pdf for each ruleset with a few suggested alternations to improve play for everyone.

One of the things this accomplishes is justifying your decision to make each new ruleset in the first place. Give us some reasons to believe that it wasn’t just greed, and it wasn’t just someone pulling rank and changing the rules to match his/her style.

Most importantly, make it clear to DMs and players that they can play any version of your game; you appreciate their loyalty regardless of their choice.

The Crunch-Fluff Debate

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

You’ve been screwing this up since (at least) 2e. Stat blocks are a waste of space, and they create the need to put updated stat blocks in future products. This increases the amount of wasted space… or, rather, it decreases the amount of creative output you have to pay the author for, which gets the conspiracy theorists among us thinking that you’re doing it on purpose. Things which make us suspicious of you are obviously bad policy. Here’s how you solve it.

Stop putting ruleset-specific stuff in the setting material.

No more stat blocks in campaign setting books or regional sourcebooks. Yes, they can be in adventures, but only when they’re not simply reprints of stuff that’s in other sources.

NPC stat blocks should go in pdf documents which are setting-specific and ruleset-specific and available to everyone from the wizards website. So the “5e FR NPCs” document will have 5e stat blocks for notable Realms NPCs, while the “2e FR NPCs” document will have all the same people with 2e stat blocks.

Why pdf documents online? Because they can be updated there without the expense (your production and our purchase) of new books. Furthermore, if they’re alphabetized, DMs can print out the ones they need instead of having to carry yet another book to their gaming table.

Why go to all the trouble of making separate documents for NPCs? Well, there is a precedent; you’ve already done it: the Hall of Heroes. This would be more concise than that book, though, because I’m talking about nothing but stat blocks. And if you do it right, you should be able to generate these stat blocks with a computer both quickly and neatly. So don’t bother whining about the expense… I will not believe you.

Furthermore, an NPC document gathers all the stat blocks in one place. No more having to look each person up in the indices of multiple books —and then cursing you (WotC) for your inability to produce indices— and having to pause the game while we flip through books looking for stat blocks. Just open up the pdf and there they are in alphabetical order.

Realmslore goes in the FR books, Eberron-lore or whatever you want to call it goes in Eberron books. Stat blocks, however, have nothing to do with lore, and add nothing to the setting. They’re just crunch, and they should go in a different place… the alternative is 5-6 versions of each stat block in each book, and I don’t think any DM or player wants that.

Cheap Moves

This is one of several thoughts/suggestions regarding the upcoming fifth edition of Dungeons & Dragons (5e). Relevant news items: nytimes and wizards.

Using the last page of the book (or, like in City of Splendors, a whopping 3 pages) for advertisements is a cheap move. So is using a big font, or wide margins. So is putting watermarks and/or edge-art on the paper (in a completely transparent effort to justify wide margins) …and then complaining about costs, so that you can jack up the price of the books while simultaneously giving us less campaign material.

Stop being a cheap whiny jerk.

We want inexpensive books which are filled with useful campaign stuff. You want to maximize profits. Both of these are logical, and neither of them is going away, so you need to find a combination that works for both of us. Because —duh— your bottom line is not our responsibility.

My suggestions: cheap paper, cheap printing, no watermarks, and no interior artwork. Spend the budget for each book on the text of the book. Be nice to your authors and they’ll keep writing for you… kinda weird how that works out, isn’t it. Do not jerk us around with a 12 point font or 1”+ margins. Don’t blow your budget on crappy art. That painting may be beautiful, in person, but reducing it to 8.25×10.8 and xeroxing it onto a page kinda kills it, and more to the point… it takes away from the verbiage without adding anything to my game. And that’s why, no matter how good the art is (and much of it isn’t) it becomes an annoyance when it’s inside a sourcebook.

Expensive books cut down on your profits… fewer people buy them, because it’s far more economical to borrow our friends’ books. Even those who do buy the books often wait a month or three after the book is released, so that they can see what everybody who bought it thinks about it before spending their own hard-earned dollars.

You want to attract young players? Even half a second of half-drunk thought while half-awake would tell you that charging 30-40 dollars per book is not the way to do it. 12 yr olds don’t have jobs, and most of them aren’t living in Hollywood with rich parents who encourage them to play D&D. Kids are buying your books with their freakin’ allowance. I know, because I did. That means they’ll only be able to get a book every couplefew months, if they can save up that much before blowing it on the movies or ice cream. The story doesn’t change much in high school or college, although cigarette and coffee habits are too-often added to the expense list and college textbooks are pure insanity. Over 600 bucks for one semester; true story. And after college, folks with kids are pretty much doomed to a tight budget.

Summary… do I spend this 40 bucks on the new D&D book, or do I keep my WoW subscription for the next 3 months and just borrow my friend’s book when I need to make a new character? Or *gulp* do I ask out that pretty girl in math class? You are hewing, assembling, and nailing your own coffin. Reduce the cost of playing the game, while increasing the quality of your product, or go the way of the dinosaurs.